It is with a heavy heart and great sadness that I must inform you that “Biggy”, the large box of Big House Red (California Red wine), is no longer with us. Despite being rationed out to a meager 5 glasses a day, and even watered down with tequila, Biggy lost the struggle last night during one of the less funny episodes of the first season of “30 Rock”.
Per Biggy’s final request, his earthly shell, that beautiful cardboard exterior, will be recycled; and his organs have been graciously donated (removed and squeezed dry). Rest in peace, my friend. Words cannot describe how much you will be missed*.
*Especially since I still don’t have a car and the liquor store is like two miles away!