My best friends, Caterina and Patrick, are away for two weeks on their honeymoon in Europe. While they're away, they've asked me to watch their house -
...and take care of their dog -
I was delighted to help them out… especially since I couldn’t be bothered to get them a wedding gift.
Shortly before they left, my car went into the shop, seemingly never to return. To make matters worse, the temperature here has been over 100 degrees* everyday. EVERY-GODDAMN-DAY. My total lack of car and the hateful weather conditions have left me prisoner in my friends’ house for a fortnight. With only a potentially murderous Chihuahua and a massive box of wine as my companions, I have been forced to confront the most intimate details of my best friends, as I become entrenched deeper and deeper into their disturbing world. Let this web log serve as a record of the depravity I was forced to endure in these, my final days… at their house. These are my findings.
*Yeah, Fahrenheit, otherwise we'd be dead.